Sad Day...

Today is a sad day.

Yesterday my boyfriend got "miffed" at me (as he put it) because I spent a little over $100 on clothes. His stance is completely understandable. I DO have a ton of clothes. However, i explained to him that a) it was an extremely good sale. (It was! I got a whole big box of clothes for under $120!) b) since i gained weight i don't have a lot of clothes that fit me.. and since it's summer it's really uncomfortable to wear clothes that don't fit. and c) i can use them for student teaching. I also explained that about 80% of the clothes that I have are clothes that don't fit me anymore but i can't really let go of.

So today when i woke up I decided to clean out my closet. I have two full bins of clothes to donate. I have a big pile of more professional clothes to give to a friend. Those were the hardest to realize that I'm not going to fit into. They were Gap size 4 pants. If they were 6's I might hang on to them. But it's going to take a VERY long time to get back into a 4. And she's currently in the process of applying for more professional jobs. So might as well have them. :(

There were a few things that I hung on to. A few skirts. It'd be really nice to fit back into them.

All in all it was kind of relieving to go through everything.

The fact (haha i almost wrote 'fat') of the matter is.... i have some really nice clothes. I like looking nice and getting dressed up. I don't need to spend money on a bunch of new clothes because I have a ton of "Like New" clothes hanging up in my very own closet.

I just need to get out there and do more. I need to get out there and work out for the sake of working out. GO TO THE GYM EVERY DAY AGAIN. Care about what I'm eating (which I've been doing.)

It was a sad day. But i'm done denying. I'm done lying to myself. I'm done pretending. I'm ready to transform. I'm ready to be me again.

Today I weigh 175 again. Earlier this week I was excited to weigh 173 and feel a little tighter.

This is the day I take myself seriously.